At its most basic, mediation is essentially a facilitated conversation between the parties to a divorce (the two spouses). The mediator guides the parties through a process that explores and addresses their individual needs as well as the issues specific to a divorce (1. division of assets and debts, 2. financial support and 3. custody and parenting arrangements). Along the way each spouse will be asked to prioritize their needs (what is most important to them) and be open to the others needs as well in order to arrive at a reasonable, fair resolution to each of the issues discussed. The goal of the process is to combine these agreements on individual issues into a comprehensive divorce agreement (a “marital settlement agreement”).
Free Consultation
The very first step is to make sure that each participant understands what is involved and is comfortable with the mediation process. So that you can make this decision free of any financial obligation, we offer a free consultation (via telephone or face-to-face) to explain the mediation process, answer any questions and make sure that mediation is right for you and for the issue at hand.
Initial Individual Sessions
The next step is for the mediator to meet separately with each party. During this session each party has a chance to provide some history/background, discuss his/her issues and give his/her perspective on what needs to be addressed to get to resolution. This includes an understanding of one’s needs and concerns, as well as his/her thoughts on potential ways to resolve these issues.
Joint Sessions
The majority of the remaining time is spent meeting together. During these sessions, we assist the parties in making decisions that address as many of their needs and concerns as possible. During the first joint session, the parties and the mediator work together to develop an agenda with a summary of the issues they will be addressing (based on the issues discussed in the individual interviews). Once everyone agrees on the agenda, we start working through the individual issues one by one.
At the end of each session, the mediator will summarize the agreements reached during that session in a summary letter (each side provides input in the drafting of this letter). Once all of the necessary issues have been covered, these summary letters will form the basis for the final Marital Settlement Agreement. We encourage our clients to make their agreements as detailed as possible. The more detailed the agreement is now, the less room there is to argue about what it means in the future. One of the reasons former spouses end up in litigation and/or mediation is because portions of their agreement were not clear.
We also strongly encourage both parties to utilize the services of a consulting attorney prior to final signature of the Marital Settlement Agreement. This attorney will provide you with individual analysis and commentary concerning the proposed agreement so that your interests are protected. Then any questions raised by the attorneys are brought back to mediation in order to iron out any remaining issues. Some people try to save money by forgoing this step, but we strongly discourage this. We have a list of attorneys we work with and trust, who are also reasonably priced, that we would be happy to provide.
The initial individual sessions are generally scheduled for 1 – 1.5 hours each. The joint sessions are usually scheduled for 2 - 3 hours each and can be scheduled weekly, every other week or based on the schedules/needs of the parties. Please see our Fees & Procedures section for specifics regarding re-scheduling and cancellations.
Co-Mediation
Co-mediation involves two mediators working together as a team to
assist a couple in reaching agreement. Co-mediation is often particularly
well-suited for divorce mediation based on the use of a male and a female
mediator with complementary skill sets (legal, psychological and
financial). More information.
Helpful Professionals
During the mediation process there is the possibility that we will
utilize other professionals for specific purposes. The primary professionals
that we utilize is a consulting attorney. There are significant differences between a consulting attorney
and an advocate attorney, but largely they boil down to the following:
- A consulting attorney works on an hourly basis without a retainer.
Therefore you pay only for the time you use without a significant
upfront expense.
- A consulting attorney is there to provide you with independent,
objective feedback and analysis, but not to advocate for you or to litigate
your case.
We have a list of consulting attorneys that we work with on an ongoing
basis which we would be happy to recommend.
In addition to consulting attorneys, other professionals may prove
helpful in certain circumstances. Financial planners may be used to provide
financial projections or evaluations; custody evaluators may be helpful
in determining the best interests of the children; and numerous other
professionals (accountants, attorneys, therapists, etc.) may become part
of the process based on the needs of the participants. These types of
professionals are regularly used in litigated divorces and using them in
mediation expands the types of cases that can be properly addressed
through mediation (e.g., more contentious cases where there is more in
dispute).
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